Blue petrol : Algae mixed with carbon dioxide fuel of future?

In a forest of tubes eight metres high in eastern Spain scientists hope they have found the fuel of tomorrow: bio-oil produced with algae mixed with carbon dioxide from a factory. Almost 400 of the green tubes, filled with millions of microscopic algae, cover a plain near the city of Alicante, next to a cement works from which the carbon dioxide is captured and transported via a pipeline to the "blue petroleum" factory. The project, which is still experimental, has been developed over the past five years by Spanish and French researches at the small Bio Fuel Systems (BFS) company.

At a time, when companies are redoubling their efforts to find alternative energy sources, the idea is to reproduce and speed up a process which has taken millions of years and which has led to the production of fossil fuels. "We are trying to simulate the conditions which existed millions of years ago, when the phytoplankton was transformed into oil," said engineer Eloy Chapuli. "In this way, we obtain oil that is the same as oil today"

The other great advantage of the system is that it is a depollutant - it absorbs the carbon dioxide which would otherwise be released into the atmosphere. "It's ecological oil," said founder and chairman of BFS, engineer Bernard Striazzo-Mougin.

The experts' idea is to reproduce and speed up a process which has taken millions of years and has led to the production of fossil fuels.

Want to shed the kilos? Get a good night's sleep

Struggling to shed those extra kilos? If yes, try to have a good night's sleep besides sticking to your diet and daily exercise, scientists suggest. Researchers have found that those who get between six and eight hours of sleep a night are twice as likely to reduce their desired weight when put on a diet for six months. The study has also found that people trying to lose at least 4.5kg were more likely to reach their goal if they had lower stress levels and slept moderately.

For the study, around 500 obese adults were recruited with an average age of 55 years. The participants were asked to attend 22 counselling sessions, reduce the diet by 500 calories day and increase the amount of exercise they took to at least three hours a week. They also had to keep a diary of their habits, including their sleep patterns and stress levels. After six months, 60% of the participants had ,lost at least 4.5kg. Researches found that the successful dieters were more likely yo report that they had slept between six and eight hours each nigh.

Almost three quarters of dieters who had both low stress levels and six ti eight hours sleep a night were likely ti achieve the 10 pounds weight loss target. They were also twice as likely to be successful as participants who reported the highest stress levels and got six or less hours sleep a night.

Tea therapy : To lose weight, don't add milk to your cuppa

The Right Brew

It's a known fact that tea contains antioxidants that help you lose weight, but a new research by an Indian scientists found that this fat-fighting ability is neutralised if milk is added to it. It has long been found out that tea contains high levels of antioxidants such as theaflavins and thearubigins which help reduce the amount of fat absorbed by the gut and can also cut cholestrol. Now researches at the Tea Research Association in Assam, India, found the compounds also help prevent obesity when given to rats that were on a high fat diet.

The benefits are cancelled out by proteins found in cows' milk, they said. "When tea us taken with milk, theaflavins abd thearubigins form complexes with the milk protein, which causes them to precipitate," Devajit Borthakur, a scientist at the Tea Research Association, said. "Therefore, it is always advised to take tea without milk," he said.

The scientists at the centre are now looking for ways of making the antioxidants less susceptible to being neytralised by milk.

Secret of Success

A young man asked Socrates the secret of Success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him towards the river. When the water got up to their neck,Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrate was strong and kept him there until boy started turning blue. Socrate pulled his head out of the water and the first thing the young man did was to gasp and take deep breath of air. Socrate asked "What did you want the most when you were there?" the boy replied "Air".

Socrates said "that is the most secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted air, you will get it. There is no other secret.

Euro-English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European nation rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English ".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl..

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl

Volcanoes kick-started life on Earth.

Volcanoes and lightning may have provided the vital spark that kick started life on Earth, a new study has suggested. To come to the conclusion, researches, led by the University of California at San Diego, used modern techniques to re-analyze results from a 1950s experiment - they studied "primordial soup" gas samples created by US prof Stanley Miller in 1958. The researches discovered a multitude of amino acids, the basic building blocks of life, which can be assembled together to form proteins. In 1953, Miller conducted the famous experiment in which he attempted to recreate the atmospheric conditions present just before life appeared on Earth four billion years ago.

Counting tumour cells can predict lung cancer

A simple technique of counting tumour cells circulating in the blood of a lung cancer patient could help determine the disease's aggressiveness and provide better treatment options, UK scientists have claimed. The team looked at the number of circulating tumour cells (CTCs) in blood samples of 101 patients with a non small cell lung cancer before and after they had undergone one cycle of chemotherapy. They found that patients who had five or more CTCs were much less likely to survive the disease. "We could now look at the genetic faults that are behind the disease and start to develop drugs that target these," Dr Lesley Walker, director of Cancer Research UK, which carried out the research said.

Genes tweaked, cows will give 'human milk'

 Chinese scientists claim to have created a herd of more than 200 cows that is capable of producing milk similar to that of humans. Genetically modified (GM) dairy products that are similiar to human milk will appear on the Chinese market in two years, according to a report in the state run China Daily. "The scientists have successfully created a herd of more than 200 cows that is capable of producing milk that contains the characteristics of human milk," Li Ning, director of the State Key Laboratories for AgroBiotechnology at China Agricultural University, told the Daily.
                                     The technology is at the "cutting edge" worldwide and will ensure "healthy protein contained in human milk is affordable for ordinary consumers", he said. Human milk contains two kinds of nutrition that can help improve the immune and central nervous systems of children. The components are not available in milk production by goats or cows, he said. "The milk tastes stronger than normal milk. Within 10 years, people will be able to pick up these human milk like products at the supermarket."

Seven Wonders of the World

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the
present  "Seven Wonders of the World."

Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most
votes:

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building  
6. St. Peter's Basilica  
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not
finished her paper yet. So she  asked the girl if she was having
trouble with her  list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little.  I couldn't quite make up my
mind because  there were so many."

The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can
help."

The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the World" are -
  
1. to see

2. to hear

3. to touch

4. to taste

5. to feel

6. to laugh

7. and to love.

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for
granted  are truly wonderful.
A gentle reminder -- that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.

Single Click Shutdown (Only for Win XP)

Did you know that in Windows XP you can shut down your computer from the (eventually DOS prompt) command line box? Moreover, you can do this by clicking your mouse only once.

All you need to do is... right-click on an empty Desktop spot -> select New -> Shortcut -> type shutdown followed by a space, and then enter one or more of the parameters listed below -> click Next -> type a suggestive name for your new shortcut -> finally, click Finish.

This is the Shutdown.exe (located in %systemroot%\System32, usually C:\Windows\System32) syntax:


shutdown [-i|-l|-s|-r|-a] [-f] [-m \\computername] [-t xx] [-c "Text"] [-d[u][p]:xx:yy]

Valid command line switches:

-a = Abort system shutdown in progress ONLY IF the -t xx timeout option was already set to ANY value other than 0. ALL switches except -l and -m are ignored during abort.

-c "Text" = Text comment (case insensitive) to be displayed in the Message area of the System Shutdown window. MUST be enclosed between quotes. Maximum allowed 127 ASCII characters.

-d [u][p]:xx:yy = Reason code for shutdown:
u = User code.
p = Planned shutdown code.
xx = Major reason code. Positive integer number less than 256.
yy = Minor reason code. Positive integer number less than 65536.

-f = Force running applications to close without warning.

-i = Display the shutdown interface (GUI). MUST be the first option!

-l = Log off the current user of the local computer (default action). Can NOT be used with the -m option unless the current user has Sysadmin rights, in which case the -m switch takes precedence.

-m \\computername = Remote/network computer name (most always case sensitive) to log off/restart/shut down. Current user MUST have Sysadmin rights to be allowed to use this switch!

-s = Shut down the local computer.

-r = Shut down and restart (reboot) the local computer.

-t xx = Set shutdown timer to timeout for xx seconds. IF NOT specified defaults to 20 seconds. Allowed values between 0 and 99 seconds. The -a switch is the ONLY one that CAN be used during the timeout period.

NOTES:
The dash (-) in front of these switches can be replaced by a forward slash (/).

Spaces are NOT required to separate the shutdown command from ANY following switches, but ARE required to separate ANY switch from its following parameter(s), if any.
For example:

shutdown -s -c "Shutting down!" -t 3

tells your computer to shutdown after waiting for 3 seconds while the System Shutdown window will display text above in the Message area.

Optional: after you're done creating your customized shortcut for shutdown -> right-click on it -> select Properties -> enter your desired key "combo" in the Shortcut Key box (e.g. Ctrl + Alt + End) -> click OK/Apply.
From now on just left-click on your shutdown shortcut or hit that key combination to turn off/restart/log off your computer.

Only Mumbaikars will get this joke.

The "Hanging Gardens"

Bombay is strange because......
Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour and not a bay.

Churchgate has neither church nor gate but a railway station.

There is no darkness in Andheri.

Lalbaug is neither red nor a garden.

No king ever stayed at Kings Circle.

Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.

Nor is there any princess at Princess Street.

Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel.

There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.

The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.

There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.

Teen bati is a junction of three roads and not three lamps.

Trams terminated at Kings circle not Dadar Tram Terminus.

Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market.

Safed Phool has the dirtiest blackish water.

You cannot buy coal at Kolsa Street.

There are no Ironsmiths at Lohar Chawl.

There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.

Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and Steel market.

Null bazaar does not sell taps.

Nor does Bheendi Bazaar sell ladies fingers.

Kalachowki does not have a black police station.

The hanging gardens are not suspended.

Mirchi Gulli does not sell chillies.

Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi.

Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi.

Jackfruits do not grow in Fanaswadi.

It is however untrue you may get fleeced at Chira Bazaar and robbed at Chor Bazaar.

Is the Large Hadron Collider a time machine ?

Scientists have claimed that the key to unlocking the secret of time travel could lie in the 17 mile long Large Hadron Collider (LHC) based underground near Geneva. The theory is that the world's biggest atom smasher might be able to unleash Higgs singlet, a particle that could appear before the collision that produced it. But there are still a few obstacles in the way, like scientists not being sure whether the LHC is capable of creating it. This particular particle has been dubbed the "God particle" and is believed to have been crucial in forming the cosmos after the Big Bang.
                           According to a report in LiveScience, regarding the Higgs singlet, physicists say that finding it could pave the way for messages to be sent both to the past and the future. "Our theory is a long shot, but it doesn't violate any laws of physics or experimental constraints," the Daily Mail quoted physicist Tom Weiler of Vanderbilt University, as saying. Writing in the research website http://arxiv.org/ , Weiler and fellow scientist Chui Man Ho explained that if the LHC manages to find the elusive Higgs boson then a Higgs singlet may be produced at the same time.

A part of the LHC  located at CERN in Geneva.

                              
                                        To prove their theory the team needs the LHC to show evidence of Higgs singlet particles and their decay products appearing at the same time. If that happens, it means that they would have been prooduced by particles that have gone back in time, or through another dimension, to pre-date the collision that produced them in the first place. The theory that allows  for the Higgs singlet to jump back and forth in time is called the M Theory. This holds that we exist in a four-dimensional "membrane", three dimensions of space and one of time, which floats in a 10 or 11-dimension universe. "One of the attractive things about this approach ti time travel is that it avoids all the big paradoxes," Weiler said.
                                                                                                                     "Because time travel is limited to these special particles, it is not possible for a man to travel back in time and murder one of his parents before he himself is born," for example. "However, if scientists could control the production of Higgs singlets, they might be able to send messages to the past or future," he stated.

Prevent hair fall.

Follow this diet to prevent hair fall naturally.


1. A high-fat and high-sodium diet contributes in hair loss. Such a diet harms our kidneys and increases the acidity of our blood, resulting in hair loss. Having a low-fat diet may help slow down the hair thinning process. According to some studies, male pattern baldness is connected to high testosterone levels, which may have resulted from consuming a high-fat and high-animal protein diet.


2. Too little protein in one's diet, on the other hand, can also lead to hair loss since it can make the hair go into a resting phase.


3. Monosaturated fats, such as those found in nuts and extra virgin olive oil, encourages hair growth and revitalizes hair follicles.


4. Avoid ingesting foods with large amounts of carbohydrates, such as rice, pasta, and potatoes. Carbohydrates are converted to glucose during the digestion process, and this raises the blood sugar level of the body. Cutting down our blood sugar level helps in reducing hair loss.


5. Have no more than one drink of alcohol per day. Alcoholic drinks lower the zinc, vitamin B, vitamin C, and folic acid levels in our body. This would lead to a deficiency in vitamins that are important for the health of our hair. Moreover, alcohol contains a high level of sugar and calories.


6. Limit your caffeine intake. Caffeine decreases the levels of vitamins B and C, potassium, and zinc in our body. This deficiency in vitamins would strain the adrenal glands and this would increase the levels of dihydrotestosterone (DHT) levels, a form of testosterone that induces hair loss and prostate growth.


7. Soy protein stimulates hair growth. In one study, an increase of 15% in hair growth was observed. Good sources of soy protein include soy milk, tofu, fish, eggs, yogurt, and cheese.


8. Anemia is one cause of hair thinning. In order to avoid this, eat a lot of iron-rich foods. Examples include dark green leafy vegetables, dried fruits, cherry juice, liver, eggs, raisins, dates, and whole grain cereals.


9. Silica is another nutrient that helps improve the health of our hair. It reduces hair loss, promotes healthier hair regrowth, strengthens hair follicles, and gives shine and luster to our hair. Studies conducted in Europe have shown that silica intake slows down hair loss. An example of silica-rich food is raw oats.


10. Incorporate iodine-rich foods into your diet as it is important in maintaining the health of your hair. Use sea salt to flavor your food. Eat vegetables such as spinach, carrots, turnips, and cabbage. Pine nuts, mustard, soybeans, millet, and cold-pressed seed oils such as pumpkin, walnut, and flax seed oil are also rich in the said nutrient.

How to increase your BitTorrent Speeds

Although it doesn't really do much of a difference for me because it all depends on how many seeders/leechers are uploading, but here's how it works:

- an internet connection, must be high speed of course...
- Windows XP Professional or Windows 2003

**note** this trick will increase your bandwidth usage, if your Internet Service Provider (ISP) limits your bandwidth, I suggest that you don't do this trick...
This part will increase your bandwidth usage by 20% meaning, you will get a faster internet speed (or your full speed.)

1.Press start
2.Press run
3.Type gpedit.msc
4.On the right hand side, press computer configuration
5.Press administrative templates
6.Press network
7.Press QoS Packet Scheduler
8.Press Limit reservable bandwidth
9.Now..you will see it being set default as "not configured". You will now press "enable". Change the value   from 20% to 0%. Pressing "disable" will result nothing.
10.Press apply

Now, a huge amount of people have been complaining over these past years that Windows XP Service Pack 2 has slowed their internet down. Service Pack 2 limits only 10 simultaneously incomplete outbound TCP connections, Service Pack 1 on the other hand, allows about 16777214 connections (or somewhere near there). The reason why Microsoft has limited to 10 connections only is to "prevent" worms/viruses from infecting your computer faster, this will therefore slow down your downloading speeds as well.

1.Go download  http://www.lvllord.de/download.php?url=en/EvID4226Patch223d-en.zip
2.If you have a crappy antivirus like Norton, or McAfee or AVG, changing it to 50 should be enough.If you have good antivirus like NOD32, then you can freely change to 16777214 (that's what im using right now.)
3.If Windows pops up asking you to insert a Windows XP SP2 CD, press ignore.

Although this won't have a significant improvement, but it's just changing the limits. And use uTorrent.

If you're thinking why you can't download using BitTorrent even if you have high speed, it's because your ISP is throttling your internet connection. I suggest you using uTorrent, and then on options---->preferences----->Bittorrent---->under protocol enryption, enable that, and you should see a higher speed than you have before...

**USE THIS OPTION ONLY IF YOU SEE SPEEDS OF 100kb/s DROPPING DOWN TO A MERE 5-10KB/S INSTANTLY**

Amazing six by Morgan.

The best shot I have ever seen !

Don't lose heart.

Boys are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The girls don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. That is why we just have to be a little patient and the right girl, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will come someday...

So all u apples there at the top ! Don't lose heart...some intelligent girl is gonna spot u someday !! ;-)

Bean Effect. LOL !

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.  He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him.

Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"

She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek.

At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried  fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table.  After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

How to impress your boss and clients ?

Do you want to impress or confuse your manager or clients ?......... use
Techno vocabulary..

It can be called the "Buzzword" writing method. It is simple. There are
three columns of words involved, as follows:

0. Balanced        0. Management    0. contingency
1. total                1. Organization       1. Hardware (or software)
2. integrated        2. reciprocal          2. projection
3. compatible      3. monitored          3. time-frame
4. synchronized  4. digital                 4. concept
5. optimal           5. modular              5. programming
6. responsive      6. transitional         6. mobility
7. functional         7. Incremental       7. capability
8. parallel            8. third-generation   8. flexibility
9. systemized      9. policy               9. options

Just select any three-digit number; then use the corresponding Buzzwords
from the above grid, e.g., 257: "integrated modular capability".

Don't worry if it doesn't make sense to you; it won't mean anything to
anyone else either, but they'll think you're just smarter than they are so
they won't say anything!! ..

You can propose "systemized reciprocal options" (929) to achieve "optimal
transitional flexibility" (568), so that we can think of an "integrated
monitored projection"

and whats more ???

Your boss will most probably promote you (as it happens practically) or your
customer will be blown away with your technological superiority !

Mentos + coke reaction

Moments after mentos was put inside coke.

Phew ! What a mess !

Whether the reaction results in the formation of cyanide is not confirmed, but please try to avoid having coke and any candy together. 

A virus-like MP3 could take control of your car.

                               


Scientists have now warned that it’s not just your computer that’s at risk of malware-dodgy MP3s can now take over your car.

Last year, a team of researchers at the US Centre for Automotive Embedded Systems Security revealed how automobile computer systems could via an access point typically used by engineers to download data on the vehicle’s health, reports New Scientists.

Through this, they were able to hijack the car, allowing the researchers to disable the brakes, turn the engine on and off, and control electrical systems such as the odometer, lights, climate control, radio and locks.

Building on this, a team of security experts, led by Stefan Savage, have now identified a variety of weak points through which hackers can gain access to a vehicle’s systems remotely.

In one example, cellphone hardware installed in luxury cars was attacked, allowing the team to inject malicious code into the car’s electronic controls.

In theory, hackers could then sell the car to a thief, giving them its location and unlocking it remotely. The team also managed to take control of the car using a Trojan app on a phone that used an Android operating system and had been paired with the car’s Bluetooth system.

Another weak point identified was the stereo system, often integrated into other electronic systems such as climate control and GPS.

The researchers were able to show that software embedded in an MP3 file could install itself into the car’s firmware, enabling similar exploits to those above.

If the car had a self-parking system, it could in theory be driven away by the hacker.

Intex launches new phone

Intex launched its new handset on Feb 28,2011. The dual SIM phone Intex Sonic features a 2-inch screen, 1.3 Megapixel camera, FM radio, BlueTooth, torch, Answering machine, GPRS and memory expandable up to 8GB via MicroSD. The device delivers up to 4 hours of talktime or up to 300 hours of standby time.

The cellphone retails at Rs 2,540 . For more details, visit the site intextechnologies.com

Videocon launches India’s first DTH service with 3D technology - 3D+HD+DVR set top box

India's first DTH service with 3D technology.

                                              

Apparently, the 3D craze hasn’t yet died down and doesn’t show any signs of doing so, despite celebrated film critic Roger Ebert’s constant diatribes against the technology. Videocon has gone ahead and launched India's  first DTH service with 3D technology.

Not much is yet known about the 3D functionality of this device, but as more and more content starts pouring in, it should be worthwhile if you own a 3D TV. Some cricketing competitions have been in talks about broadcasting in 3D, as have the next Olympics. Of course, movies and other content would be a given. As of now, there aren’t any channels which offer 3D content, but Videocon has said it will launch two such channels by June.

The set top box obviously supports high-definition output, so you will be able to see all your favourite HD channels. And it has Digital Video Recorder functionality to pause, rewind and forward live TV & record up to 200 hours; it also facilitates auto serial recording. Along with 5x digital picture quality, users will get a boost in the audio department with High Definition Digital sound.

Videocon d2h has maximum number of 288 channels and services with a very strong regional content for their specific audiences along with all the sports channels on board. The newly added Channels in HD format are Discovery HD, NGC HD, Movies Now HD, Travel XP, HD Active Music, HD d2h Movies and the 13 new channels in:  Baby TV, Spacetoon, Movies Now (SD), FX, Fox Crime, Big CBS Prime, Discovery Science, Discovery Turbo, NGC Wild, NGC Adventure, NGC Music.

The 3D Set Top Box with DVR and HD is priced at Rs. 3,990. Videocon is also making a variant available without DVR technology, which costs Rs. 2,490.

Advert Blunders

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations.

It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences.

For example...

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect.

Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."

In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."

Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."

The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty."

When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go." After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.

Ford had a similar problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals". Ford pried all the nameplates off and substituted Corcel, which means horse.

When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the company mistakenly thought the spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that "It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I Saw the Pope" in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I Saw the Potato."

Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," got terribly mangled in another Spanish translation. A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that explained "It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused."

Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means "big breasts." In this case, however, the name problem did not have a noticeable effect on sales.

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno mag.

In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water.

Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it entered English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for unusual sex tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki Nippon Tourist Company changed its name.

In an effort to boost orange juice sales in predominantly continental breakfast eating England, a campaign was devised to extoll the drink's eye-opening, pick-me-up qualities. Hence the slogan, "Orange juice. It gets your pecker up."


One can learn a line from a win, a book from a failure!

23 Ways to speed up Windows XP.

Since defragging the disk won't do much to improve Windows XP performance, here are 23 suggestions that will. Each can enhance the performance and reliability of your customers' PCs. Best of all, most of them will cost you nothing.

1.) To decrease a system's boot time and increase system performance, use the money you save by not buying defragmentation software -- the built-in Windows defragmenter works just fine -- and instead equip the computer with an Ultra-133 or Serial ATA hard drive with 8-MB cache buffer.


2.) If a PC has less than 512 MB of RAM, add more memory. This is a relatively inexpensive and easy upgrade that can dramatically improve system performance.


3.) Ensure that Windows XP is utilizing the NTFS file system. If you're not sure, here's how to check: First, double-click the My Computer icon, right-click on the C: Drive, then select Properties. Next, examine the File System type; if it says FAT32, then back-up any important data. Next, click Start, click Run, type CMD, and then click OK. At the prompt, type CONVERT C: /FS:NTFS and press the Enter key. This process may take a while; it's important that the computer be uninterrupted and virus-free. The file system used by the bootable drive will be either FAT32 or NTFS. I highly recommend NTFS for its superior security, reliability, and efficiency with larger disk drives.


4.) Disable file indexing. The indexing service extracts information from documents and other files on the hard drive and creates a "searchable keyword index." As you can imagine, this process can be quite taxing on any system.

The idea is that the user can search for a word, phrase, or property inside a document, should they have hundreds or thousands of documents and not know the file name of the document they want. Windows XP's built-in search functionality can still perform these kinds of searches without the Indexing service. It just takes longer. The OS has to open each file at the time of the request to help find what the user is looking for.

Most people never need this feature of search. Those who do are typically in a large corporate environment where thousands of documents are located on at least one server. But if you're a typical system builder, most of your clients are small and medium businesses. And if your clients have no need for this search feature, I recommend disabling it.

Here's how: First, double-click the My Computer icon. Next, right-click on the C: Drive, then select Properties. Uncheck "Allow Indexing Service to index this disk for fast file searching." Next, apply changes to "C: subfolders and files," and click OK. If a warning or error message appears (such as "Access is denied"), click the Ignore All button.


5.) Update the PC's video and motherboard chipset drivers. Also, update and configure the BIOS. For more information on how to configure your BIOS properly, see this article on my site.


6.) Empty the Windows Prefetch folder every three months or so. Windows XP can "prefetch" portions of data and applications that are used frequently. This makes processes appear to load faster when called upon by the user. That's fine. But over time, the prefetch folder may become overloaded with references to files and applications no longer in use. When that happens, Windows XP is wasting time, and slowing system performance, by pre-loading them. Nothing critical is in this folder, and the entire contents are safe to delete.


7.) Once a month, run a disk cleanup. Here's how: Double-click the My Computer icon. Then right-click on the C: drive and select Properties. Click the Disk Cleanup button -- it's just to the right of the Capacity pie graph -- and delete all temporary files.


8.) In your Device Manager, double-click on the IDE ATA/ATAPI Controllers device, and ensure that DMA is enabled for each drive you have connected to the Primary and Secondary controller. Do this by double-clicking on Primary IDE Channel. Then click the Advanced Settings tab. Ensure the Transfer Mode is set to "DMA if available" for both Device 0 and Device 1. Then repeat this process with the Secondary IDE Channel.


9.) Upgrade the cabling. As hard-drive technology improves, the cabling requirements to achieve these performance boosts have become more stringent. Be sure to use 80-wire Ultra-133 cables on all of your IDE devices with the connectors properly assigned to the matching Master/Slave/Motherboard sockets. A single device must be at the end of the cable; connecting a single drive to the middle connector on a ribbon cable will cause signaling problems. With Ultra DMA hard drives, these signaling problems will prevent the drive from performing at its maximum potential. Also, because these cables inherently support "cable select," the location of each drive on the cable is important. For these reasons, the cable is designed so drive positioning is explicitly clear.


10.) Remove all spyware from the computer. Use free programs such as AdAware by Lavasoft or SpyBot Search & Destroy. Once these programs are installed, be sure to check for and download any updates before starting your search. Anything either program finds can be safely removed. Any free software that requires spyware to run will no longer function once the spyware portion has been removed; if your customer really wants the program even though it contains spyware, simply reinstall it. For more information on removing Spyware visit this Web Pro News page.


11.) Remove any unnecessary programs and/or items from Windows Startup routine using the MSCONFIG utility. Here's how: First, click Start, click Run, type MSCONFIG, and click OK. Click the StartUp tab, then uncheck any items you don't want to start when Windows starts. Unsure what some items are? Visit the WinTasks Process Library. It contains known system processes, applications, as well as spyware references and explanations. Or quickly identify them by searching for the filenames using Google or another Web search engine.


12.) Remove any unnecessary or unused programs from the Add/Remove Programs section of the Control Panel.


13.) Turn off any and all unnecessary animations, and disable active desktop. In fact, for optimal performance, turn off all animations. Windows XP offers many different settings in this area. Here's how to do it: First click on the System icon in the Control Panel. Next, click on the Advanced tab. Select the Settings button located under Performance. Feel free to play around with the options offered here, as nothing you can change will alter the reliability of the computer -- only its responsiveness.


14.) If your customer is an advanced user who is comfortable editing their registry, try some of the performance registry tweaks offered at Tweak XP.


15.) Visit Microsoft's Windows update site regularly, and download all updates labeled Critical. Download any optional updates at your discretion.


16.) Update the customer's anti-virus software on a weekly, even daily, basis. Make sure they have only one anti-virus software package installed. Mixing anti-virus software is a sure way to spell disaster for performance and reliability.


17.) Make sure the customer has fewer than 500 type fonts installed on their computer. The more fonts they have, the slower the system will become. While Windows XP handles fonts much more efficiently than did the previous versions of Windows, too many fonts -- that is, anything over 500 -- will noticeably tax the system.


18.) Do not partition the hard drive. Windows XP's NTFS file system runs more efficiently on one large partition. The data is no safer on a separate partition, and a reformat is never necessary to reinstall an operating system. The same excuses people offer for using partitions apply to using a folder instead. For example, instead of putting all your data on the D: drive, put it in a folder called "D drive." You'll achieve the same organizational benefits that a separate partition offers, but without the degradation in system performance. Also, your free space won't be limited by the size of the partition; instead, it will be limited by the size of the entire hard drive. This means you won't need to resize any partitions, ever. That task can be time-consuming and also can result in lost data.


19.) Check the system's RAM to ensure it is operating properly. I recommend using a free program called MemTest86. The download will make a bootable CD or diskette (your choice), which will run 10 extensive tests on the PC's memory automatically after you boot to the disk you created. Allow all tests to run until at least three passes of the 10 tests are completed. If the program encounters any errors, turn off and unplug the computer, remove a stick of memory (assuming you have more than one), and run the test again. Remember, bad memory cannot be repaired, but only replaced.


20.) If the PC has a CD or DVD recorder, check the drive manufacturer's Web site for updated firmware. In some cases you'll be able to upgrade the recorder to a faster speed. Best of all, it's free.


21.) Disable unnecessary services. Windows XP loads a lot of services that your customer most likely does not need. To determine which services you can disable for your client, visit the Black Viper site for Windows XP configurations.


22.) If you're sick of a single Windows Explorer window crashing and then taking the rest of your OS down with it, then follow this tip: open My Computer, click on Tools, then Folder Options. Now click on the View tab. Scroll down to "Launch folder windows in a separate process," and enable this option. You'll have to reboot your machine for this option to take effect.


23.) At least once a year, open the computer's cases and blow out all the dust and debris. While you're in there, check that all the fans are turning properly. Also inspect the motherboard capacitors for bulging or leaks. For more information on this leaking-capacitor phenomena, you can read numerous articles on my site.



Following any of these suggestions should result in noticeable improvements to the performance and reliability of your customers' computers. If you still want to defrag a disk, remember that the main benefit will be to make your data more retrievable in the event of a crashed drive.

Speed Boot - Save 2 Seconds

I found that creating a script to run on shutdown that deletes the temp folder and history saved 2.5 seconds on my boot time, down do 10.5 secs.

Create a batch file by doing the following:

1) Open notepad and enter the following lines:

RD /S /q "C:\Documents and Settings\"UserName without quotes"\Local Settings\History"
RD /S /q "C:\Documents and Settings\Default User\Local Settings\History"
RD /S /q "D:\Temp\" <--"Deletes temp folder, type in the location of your temp folder"

2) Save the file and then rename is something like deltemp.bat

3) Now click Start, Run and type in gpedit.msc --->Computer Configuration --->Windows Settings --->Scripts and double click on Shutdown --->Click Add and find the batch file you created and press ok to set the script

Tweak worked wonders for me, hope it works well for you.

Cheers


P.S:
This tweak should be tried only in Windows XP, because in Windows 7, your ActiveX control might get disabled. This could create problems in browsing the Internet.

Ever wondered how long was your computer switched on ?

View XP System Uptime

To view the amount of time that XP has been running with out rebooting or restarting the computer:

1) Open the Command Prompt (located under Accessories)

2) Type 'systeminfo' (without the dashes)

3) Once the system has finished gathering the information, scroll up and the time is displayed in the System Up Time field.

As you can see, running systeminfo also gives a lot of useful information.

How To Change Your IP In Less Then 1 Minute

1. Click on "Start" in the bottom left hand corner of screen
2. Click on "Run"
3. Type in "command" and hit ok

You should now be at an MSDOS prompt screen.

4. Type "ipconfig /release" just like that, and hit "enter"
5. Type "exit" and leave the prompt
6. Right-click on "Network Places" or "My Network Places" on your desktop.
7. Click on "properties"

You should now be on a screen with something titled "Local Area Connection", or something close to that, and, if you have a network hooked up, all of your other networks.

8. Right click on "Local Area Connection" and click "properties"
9. Double-click on the "Internet Protocol (TCP/IP)" from the list under the "General" tab
10. Click on "Use the following IP address" under the "General" tab
11. Create an IP address (It doesn't matter what it is. I just type 1 and 2 until i fill the area up).
12. Press "Tab" and it should automatically fill in the "Subnet Mask" section with default numbers.
13. Hit the "Ok" button here
14. Hit the "Ok" button again

You should now be back to the "Local Area Connection" screen.

15. Right-click back on "Local Area Connection" and go to properties again.
16. Go back to the "TCP/IP" settings
17. This time, select "Obtain an IP address automatically"
tongue.gif 18. Hit "Ok"
19. Hit "Ok" again
20. You now have a new IP address

With a little practice, you can easily get this process down to 15 seconds.

P.S:
This only changes your dynamic IP address, not your ISP/IP address. If you plan on hacking a website with this trick be extremely careful, because if they try a little, they can trace it back

Japan disastor quotes - Best of the worst.

1. The human toll looks much worse than the economic toll and we can be grateful for that. (TV host Larry Kudlow draws a silver lining)
2. They did Pearl Harbor so you can't expect anything less. (Basketball player Capple Pondexter tweets her idolcy) 
3. Japan called me. They said maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they're all sinking. (Comedian Gilbert Gottfried. We hope his rear got fried after this)
4. Japanese politics is tainted with egoism and populism. We need to use the tsunami to wipe out egoism... (Tokyo Governor Shintato Ishlhara is worse than Vilasro)
5. Kya tusnami ke peeche tha shark machliyon ka shraap? (You-know-who)

ACER LIQUID METAL

This Android OS 2.2 running smart phone features a 800MHz processor, 3.6 inch screen, 5 megapixel camera, WiFi, BlueTooth, GPS and comes with a free 8GB microsSD card. The device retails at Rs 20,500. For more details, visit the site http://www.acer.co.in 




                         

NASA spacecraft is first to orbit Mercury.

A NASA spacecraft began orbiting Mercury, becoming the first to fly around the solar system's most innermost planet, the space agency said. The craft, known as MESSENGER began the orbit around 2.00 AM GMT on a mission to circle the planet for one Earth year in an unprecedented study of the tiny, hot planet. The spacecraft began its journey more than six years ago, travelling through the inner solar system and embarking on flybys of Earth, Venus and Mercury. 

An enhanced image of Mercury from the Messenger probe.

For the next several weeks, engineers will be focused on ensuring the spacecraft's systems are all working well in Mercury's harsh thermal environment. MESSENGER was 46 million kilometres from the Sun and 155 million kilometres from Earth when it headed into Mercury's orbit, NASA said. The MESSENGER has already been able to return a partial map of the planet's crater filled surface after a handful of flybys.

                                       

Overdose of chemistry !

Three students of physics, biology and chemistry respectively were standing near a pond.

Physics student said, "I will dive to measure the depth."

Biology student said, "I will dive to discover new flora and fauna."

Both dived in.

After a few hours of waiting, the chemistry student thought, "Great! Both of them are soluble in water."

3 Idiots Comedy Speech

 

Omi Vaidya's best speech ever !

I Love Mumbai !

A sample of the language that rocks Mumbai and is understood only in Mumbai

1.  There's a minor problem- Arre yaar, "Waanda" ho gaya
2.  There's a big problem - Arre yaar, "Jhol" ho gaya
3.  There's a huge problem..(unsolvable)- Arre yaar,"Raada" ho gaya
4.  You'll be surprised .- Ekdam "Hill" jayega tu
5.  I am going out of this place - Chal apun "Kaltii" marta hai.
6.  Don't make a fool of others - Dekh , tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko
7.  Just get out of here,you oversmart fool!! - Chal e shane, "Hawa" aan de
8.  I am not a stupid out here - Apun kya "ALIBAUG" se nahi aaya
9.  There's some misunderstanding - Arre kuch "Galat Faimili" ho gayi
10. Do u drink daily? - Tu kya roz "FULL TO" hota hai?
11. See, You are afraid.. - Dekh , teri to "FAT" gayi
12. Shall I bash u? - E Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ?
13. Just take him into a secret place -Use jara "Khopche" me leke  ja
14. What a beautiful lady !! - Kya "Zakaas Item" hai yaar!!
15. Don't just bluff. - E Jyaada "RAAG" mat de..
16. Don't take much tension.. - Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya??
17. Your clothes are very awkward!! - Kya "ZAGMAG /DHINKCHAAK" pehna tune?
20. I don't care about it much..!! - Abe yaar , "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata"
21. Please don't bore me... - Jyaada "PAKAA" mat be tu
22. All this must be done without anyone's notice Sab kaam "SUUMDI" me hona chahiye...kya?


   Marine Drive at night.

This is something important for each one of us.

1. Don't drink Appy Fizz. It contains cancer causing agents.
2. Don't eat Mentos before or after drinking coke because the person will die as soon as the mixture becomes cyanide.
3. Don't eat Kurkure, it contains a very heigh level of plastic. Try burning one piece & see the result.
4. Avoid these tablets :                                  

                             Vicks action 500        
                             Actified
                             D cold
They contain Phenyl-propanal-amide (PPA). which cause strokes & these are banned in USA.

6-Do not put your mobile closer to your ears until the recipient answers, because directly after dialing the mobile, would use its max signal power which is 2 Watts+33dbi.
Please use left ear for hearing as it does not effect the brain directly

7- Don't use cotton bud bought from road side as they are made from reused cotton from hospitals. It can  cause Herpes Zoster Oticus (Infection of inner, middle & external ear)


     

The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

Sol and Mort are walking from religious service.

Sol wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Mort replies, "Why don't you ask Rabbi Schwartz?"

So Sol goes up to Rabbi Schwartz and asks, "Rabbi,may I smoke while I pray?" But Rabbi says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion." Sol goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him.

Mort says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Mort goes up to Rabbi Schwartz and asks, "Rabbi, may I pray while I smoke?" To which Rabbi Schwartz eagerly replies, "By all means, my son.By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask

Hint : Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation?

Give her another chance. LOL !

80,000 blondes meet at the Wembley Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" convention.

The master of ceremonies says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

One blonde steps up, so the master of ceremonies asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds, she replies, "Eighteen."

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start chanting, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The master of ceremonies says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the World Wide Press, I guess we can give her another chance." So, asks her, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After 15 or 20 seconds, she replies, "Ninety."

The master of ceremonies sighs. Everyone is crestfallen and the blonde starts crying. Again, the 80,000 girls start chanting, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

Unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, the master of ceremonies finally says, "Okay! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?"

After 15 or 20 seconds, she replies, "Four."

The stadium of 80,000 blondes start chanting, "Give her another chance, give her another chance"

New Fevicol commercial.

A very funny advertisement.

Losing weight is not such a tough task. Here are some simple yet effective ways to get fit.

You thought losing weight was an ardurous job? Perhaps, it is not really that a tough task. I suggest eight simple steps, which you can follow in order to acquire that aspiring body.


EATING RIGHT
This is the first and the most effective step to lose weight. And the best way to meet this criterion is by eating healthy food at home. Cooking at home is something that calorie conscious people do. The biggest advantage of preparing your meals at home is that you actually burn calories while cooking, as much as 85 calories per hour. Plus you burn another 35 calories in 15 minutes of washing the dishes after a meal. And while you're at it, keep your mouth preoccupied when preparing food. Chew on gum or drink a cup of tea or coffee to steer clear from unwanted calories.

AFFIX THE RIGHT GRUB
Fixing up a weight loss diet doesn't always mean cutting on food. Successful weight loss diets always encourage you to add up on the right kind of foods, which will keep you full and satisfied rather than making you crave for more. Try eating more berries whenever you're hungry and accommodate more whole grains like finger millet and oats in your diet.

END EMOTIONAL EATING
Be honest to yourself. Know how you're feeling. If you're feeling down and out, talk to a friend or seek professional counseling but don't fall prey to emotional eating. Remember that a tub of choco chip ice cream or a bag of potato chips is not the solution to the problems in your life.

OCCASIONALLY INDULGE
Yet, that doesn't mean you don't allow yourself to pig out on those scrumptious deserts or the appetizing pizza once a way. In fact, it will stop you from letting it build up into an controllable binge. Aim for treats with 200 calories or less, and take a note of those calories in your daily eating routine. Maintain a diary, which will help you monitor your diet.

SNACK ALL DAY
Eating throughout the day with a gap of three to four hours in between will keep you satisfied so that you don't overeat. Keep your portions small and fill up your daily meals with fruits, veggies, whole grains, and other healthy options. Breakfast is the most important meal if the day. So, avoid skipping your first meal in the day as it will bring down your metabolism. Even if you're not hungry when you wake up, eat something. Over time, you develop a morning appetite and you will actually intake less food throughout the day.

SQUEEZE IN SOME EXERCISE
However, simply eating right is not the only method to acquire that aspiring body. A human body was made for movement. Chalk out your day's schedule in such a way that you can squeeze in some time for a good workout. Even 10 minutes of exercise in a day are an effective way to reduce your waist size and body mass index (BMI). Go for a jog, brisk walk, or skip. These are very simple exercises, but the results are extremely beneficial. Yet, if you're not up for a mundane workout, indulge in outdoor sports like cycling and swimming, or even exploring nature trails is an enjoyable activity.

LAUGH AND LOSE WEIGHT
Giggle and gable as much as you please. A recent study suggested that laughing raised energy expenditure and increased heart rate by 10 to 20 percent.Moreover, laughing fir 10 minutes a day will help you burn up to 40 calories.

GET YOUR POSTURE RIGHT
For every inch you slouch, you appear five pounds heavier. To gain the muscle strength and muscle memory for your body to hold itself taller and straighter, add yoga and pilates to your exercise regimen, thrice a week, for 45 minutes.

SHOPPING FOR GROCERIES
Go to the market, shop for fresh fruits and vegetables. Avoid buying processed foods laden with sugar, additives and trans fats. Likewise, keep away from packaged food. Choose fruits and vegetables that are in season because they tend to cost less. When you are shopping for meats opt for lean cuts.

This is so funny !

A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant.

The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me? " The accountant does not answer.

The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."

The Godfather says, "Well...ask him where the damn money is"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is.

The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where the damn money is!"

The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!"

The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK!, the money is hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!"

The Godfather says, "Well....what did he say?"

The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."



That's a 9 millimeter pistol. 

Dark Side Of Your Sign

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)


A warrior at heart, you thrive on challenges and any strife and dramas, you are tempted to stir things up, just to keep yourself happy. You are also rather intolerant of mistakes and don't have patience for weakness or failings in others. And sometimes, you can be quite a snob as well you like to be seen at the right places or wear the right clothes. And you're also prone to bossiness. Your restless nature may make you quit a project suddenly if you can't sustain the interest.

Advice:
Get off your high horse and pay your dues before people will accept you. Learn to be more tolerant of others and try to see the other person's side of the story. If you believe in what you do, you can move mountains.

Taurus (Apr 21 - May 20)

You are stubborn and like to hold onto things, not wanting to let go of anything or anyone. You are slow to anger, but when you do get worked up to a rage - everyone step aside! You also have a selfish streak and can be quite sneaky as well. And although people may see you as helpful and agreeable, you sometimes have an inner struggle wanting the approval of others while sticking to your own opinions. You also tend to be suspicious of others and question their motives.

Advice:
Stop being mean and try to be nice. Learn to forgive and let go of your past disappointments. Learn from your mistakes and have faith in yourself and others as well.

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)

Your devil-may-care attitude sometimes could bring harm to yourself - you tend to live on the edge sometimes. Many of you believe that you don't deserve success, somehow feeling guilty for it. You may give others too much of yourself sometimes that you lose yourself. You may be prone to suppressing motions as well. And at times that makes it difficult for you to accept affection and love.

Advice:
Work at listening to others and don't be tempted to try daring devil stunts all the time. And try doing something for yourself and once in a while, in between, doing favors for others. You're human, after all.


Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)

You can get carried away with emotions - your anger is overwhelming and your sadness can depress all those around you. You're also ultra-sensitive to other people's emotions and are affected by these as well. You tend to react before you think and then brood about what you may have done or said wrong. You are also prone to periods of morbidity, thinking dark thoughts. Feelings of insecurity creep in now and then, making you snappish or else you try to win the approval of everyone at your expense.

Advice:
Accept that you are hypersensitive to emotions and work with yours. Go with the flow and by doing the right thing, you set an example for others. Work with others and this will help build your confidence and open you up.


Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)

On the rare occasion you lose your temper, you can turn into a savage beast. You seem to need an audience as well, to help boost your confidence and ego, sometimes. Other times, you get caught up in the outward dramas of your life that you neglect what you're feeling inside. This results in a delayed reaction when emotions sneak up on you and you get hit with a whammy. You also tend to be proud and aggressive, cloaking these with your charm. When things don't go your way, you get impatient and may even throw a tantrum.

Advice:
Learn to spend some time alone with yourself and get to know yourself better. And learn to experience your emotions at the moment; don't store them up for another time. And know that not all means justify the ends.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)

You have a martyr complex, feeling that you were put on this earth to do good work and not receive any credit for it. You tend to be ultra critical of yourself and others and you also worry about things that are beyond your control. A little pessimistic sometimes, you tend to be an intellectual snob. You bottle up all your insecurities and fears, and hesitate to reach out for help. And once in a while, you become a busybody that's when you also feel responsible for other people's problems.

Advice:
Modesty has its own limits - take credit for your efforts. Give yourself a break and know that you do not have to be successful in everything you do.Keep focused and don't get tangled in other people's affairs too often.


Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 23)

Your inability to reach a decision in matters of personal action is
legendary. You like to weigh all the alternatives and hear every side of an argument - but this may take time and opportunities may pass you by because of it. You also like to expand energy on people who may not deserve it - You want to help the underdog. You are also sensitive to criticism and may take mild statements of fact very personally.

Advice:
Follow your instincts and act on them - stop sitting on fences. Don't blindly trust people; learn to be a little more discriminating in your offers of help. Learn to think for yourself and don't be swayed by persuasive tongues.


Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 21)

You have a revengeful streak and a long memory for past hurts. Sometimes you're downright spiteful. When you suffer, you make sure others suffer along with you. Sometimes, you may even use deception to get what you want And to influence others to stay out of your way. You may even believe these untruths and unrealistic fears will grow on you. Once in a while, you may come across someone that just rubs you on the wrong side for no apparent reason and you make it your mission to bury him or her.

Advice:
Flight the negative emotions that arise in you, and resentment will not sour your life. Don't give into temptation to tell lies, learn to conquer your strong tendency towards revenge and things will fall into place for you.


Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

You've got a big mouth and unwittingly hurt an insult people with it. You can even go to utter strangers and give unsolicited advice and comments. You also seem to enjoy verbal duels with others whenever you can. And you sure can make sore losers, even suspecting foul play if things don't go your way. You have a knack for confrontation and you can't resist being sarcastic. You also don't think too much of many people, because you have mild superiority complex. Vanity is also a trait in many of you.

Advice:
Learn with whom you can be frank otherwise keep your comments to yourself. Discretion is the better part of valor. Curb your cockiness, and you can combine it with your concern for serious issues, aiding in your search for truth.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

You are rather materialistic and it is fueled by your fears of financial disaster. This makes you complain about monetary woes, irritating many with your obnoxious attitude. You can also be a social climber, manipulating your way up the ladder; name-dropping all the way to the top. Once in a while, you'll have morbid thoughts about Death something that scares you because you have no control over it. You tend to be obsessive about your mortality sometimes.

Advice:
Stop worrying about losing money, and you'd rid yourself of unfounded nightmares. Stop manipulating others and you'll be free to concentrate on attaining your goals. Get rid of your phobias and you'll be able to relax more and enjoy yourself.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

You tend to be too idealistic and naive sometimes. Practicality gets thrown out of the window by you many times. Cool and aloof, you rarely want to deal with deep emotions. You like to give advice but don't like to receive it. And ideas and inspirations that you sometimes neglect or follow through with them are constantly bombarding you. Or else you are constantly shifting focus, giving people the idea with no staying power.

Advice:
Take time to explore your private feelings. Not all people see things your way. And just because you come up with ideas, don't expect other people to do all the work for you. Learn to trust people and accept advice.


Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

You are an escapist - you have this knack of avoiding issues if they seem unpleasant. You delve into past memories to escape your present woes. There is also a tendency towards alcoholism and even drug abuse - you are on a search for some kind of 'high'. You also love to flirt and too much of it may send the wrong, dangerous signals out to other people. Once in a while, a dark mood will descend on you and you become rather unsociable and withdrawn.

Advice:
Trust your instincts, but also be in control of your perceptions. Whenever the escapist tendency hits you, join a seminar or get a pep talk from a friend to get your perspective right.